I'm Sorry I Missed Your Talk!

At some point during a large conference, I inevitably end up missing a colleague's talk and having to later stammer out an excuse/apology/rationales, etc. A number of years ago, at an Ecological Society of America conference, someone handed me a stick-on name tag with the simple phrase "I'm Sorry I Missed Your Talk." Stealing this idea as my own, I have since added a number of possible followup phrases. If you've seen me at GSA, you probably noticed my tag with "I'm Sorry I Missed Your Talk" and some of the following:

But I heard it was very good!
There was a competing session.
I understand that the computer crashed.
Did you really write it on the plane on the way here?
Is there a .pdf available available on your website? (old version: Send me a reprint!)
I was out in the hall talking to someone important!
It took me 2 hours to get lunch!
Didn't you give the same talk last year?
Didn't I publish that idea 10 years ago?
At least it wasn't at the end of the last day.
Now you can deduct the cost of attending the meeting.
No one remembers these talks anyway!
How the hell did you get NSF to fund that?
I'm just sick and tired of bullet lists.

Also, for some insightful and funny thoughts about conference to share with your students, see: Delegate Sensibilities

Roy Plotnick
Earth and Environmental Sciences
University of Illinois at Chicago